No More of This CILVIL War Stuff, You Guys
No More of This CILVIL War Stuff, You Guys is an episode of The Super Wario Bros. Strike Back!, you guys. Transcript Wario and Waluigi are at Nim-Nom's party, standing in the corner of the room. Obnoxious music plays. WARIO: Why did we even agree to come here? I don't like any of these people. I don't even like Nim-Nom! WALUIGI: You don't like anyone. WARIO: I like myself! Wario turns around and sees his reflection in a mirror on the wall. WARIO: Oh, who invited THIS ugly bastard to the party? In the next room, Dry Bones is standing next to Princess Daisy. DRY BONES: Yeah, so I'm pretty much the toughest guy around, I kicked that Wario dude's ass so many times, my footprint is permanently marked into his right buttcheek. DAISY: Gross. So, do you ever do anything besides fight Wario? DRY BONES: What? What do you mean? I do lots of stuff. I fight... Waluigi! DAISY: All your stories are just about you and your friends fighting Wario and his friends. Like... what else is there to your life? It's kind of sad. DRY BONES: Sad? SAD? I'll show you sad! DAISY: I'm sure you will. Daisy walks away. Dry Bones starts to cry into his hands. DRY BONES: Oh... damn it! This is all Wario's fault! I should go fight him! Dry Bones looks around. DRY BONES: Wait a minute... I mean... Wario who? I don't even know that dude. I got so much goin' on in my life. I got a lot of endeavors poppin' off right now, I'm basically just that one awesome guy who has a really full life. Nim-Nom walks by. NIM-NOM: Hey, Dry Bones, how's the depressing empty life going? DRY BONES: Damn it! Dry Bones walks over to the table, which has a box of pizza on it. DRY BONES: Only pizza can cure my depression... Wario walks into the kitchen, grabbing the pizza box off the table. WARIO: Yoink! Wario proceeds to devour the whole pizza, throwing the box to the ground behind him. WARIO: Hey! Who ate all the pizza? DRY BONES: You did, asshole! WARIO: Huh? Oh, hey, Dry Bones. I don't wanna fight you right now, I'm trying to interact with people socially. DRY BONES: Oh, that must be SO nice. You know what, Wario, all you've ever done since you came into my life was ruin it! You know what I've been doing since the last time we fought? Planning out when I'm going to fight you next! WARIO: Wow. That sounds really sad. DRY BONES: It's not sad! It's NOT! WARIO: It really is. DRY BONES: Fine! I have a sad life, I'm sad! I'm that sad loser guy! WARIO: Yeah you are. Dry Bones leaps over the kitchen table and tackles Wario to the ground. DRY BONES: I'll kill you! A large crowd gathers around. WALUIGI: Hey, look! Look, everybody! They're gonna fight again! DRY BONES: What? No! Dry Bones jumps off of Wario. DRY BONES: I'm not going to fight him! I'm NOT! NIM-NOM: Suuuure you aren't. DAISY: Go on. Kick his ass again. You said you do it all the time. DRY BONES: Shut up! I don't do that anymore! That was the old me! The old, sad me! I'm the NEW me! THE NEW ME! Dry Bones runs out of the house and into the street. Everyone gathers around the doorway to watch him run off into the night. DRY BONES: I'M A NEW MAN! WARIO: Wow. What a loser. The next day, Wario and Waluigi are sitting on their couch, hung over from the party last night. WARIO: Oh, man... there's nothing good on TV... WALUIGI: Yeah... WARIO: Let's play video games. WALUIGI: Uh... we played all the video games. WARIO: Damn it... what are we gonna do? WALUIGI: I don't know, man. I'm so bored. Bowser walks into the room. BOWSER: You know, guys, I'd go kidnap Peach, but... I'm just not feeling it right now. What do you guys wanna do? WARIO: What do you wanna do? BOWSER: I just asked you what you want to do. WARIO: I don't know, what do you wanna do? BOWSER: God damn it... Donkey Kong walks into the room. DONKEY KONG: You guys, I'm out of barrels to throw, what do you say we do? WALUIGI: This SUCKS! What do we always do when we have nothing to do? Homer jumps out of a nearby closet. HOMER: I know! Let's go fight those lame guys! WARIO: How long were you in there? HOMER: I don't know, actually... BOWSER: What do you mean, those lame guys? DONKEY KONG: I think he's talking about that turtle skeleton and his annoying friends. WALUIGI: Oh, those guys SUCK! WARIO: Yeah. Let's go fight them! At Dry Bones's house, Dry Bones and Some Tiny Moron That Nobody Cares About are sitting on their couch. TINY MORON: What do you want to do today, Dry Bones? DRY BONES: You know... I'm down for anything. ANYTHING! TINY MORON: Anything? A weird grin appears across the Tiny Moron's face. Suddenly, Wario and his gang kicks open the front door. WARIO: Get ready to fight, losers! TINY MORON (Whispering to himself): Damn it! DRY BONES: What are you doing here, lame guy? WARIO: I'M the lame guy? BOWSER: We're here to fight you guys. WALUIGI: Don't you guys want to fight us? DRY BONES: Nah. I got more stuff going on in my life than just fighting you guys. TINY MORON: You heard the man! SCRAM! DONKEY KONG: What's going on here? WARIO: Why don't you want to fight me? Am I not good enough for you? DRY BONES: It's like all you want to do is fight us. It's kind of sad. WARIO: Sad? SAD? Wario grabs Dry Bones off of the couch and violently shakes him. WARIO: I'll show you sad! DRY BONES: Assault! THIS IS ASSAULT! Waluigi puts his hand on Wario's shoulder. WALUIGI: Wario... I think... I think it's over. Wario drops Dry Bones. WARIO: Over? DONKEY KONG: Wario... come on... BOWSER: It's over, man. WALUIGI: No more. No more of this CILVIL War stuff. WARIO: What do you mean, no more? TINY MORON: Guys. I think you should get going. Dry Bones gets back up. DRY BONES: No more, you guys. It's over. WARIO: Over? Wario bursts into tears. WARIO: What do you mean? What are you guys SAYING right now? HOMER: It's okay, Wario. It's all behind us now. DONKEY KONG: Come on, guys. Let's get out of here. Wario falls to his knees and looks up to the sky. WARIO: NO!!! Waluigi walks up to Dry Bones. WALUIGI: I'm sorry you had to see this. Waluigi pats Wario on the back. WALUIGI: Come on, bud. Donkey Kong grabs Wario, carrying him out the front door. DONKEY KONG: It'll be alright... Wario's gang leaves. TINY MORON: What the hell was that all about? THE END. Morals *Sometimes you just need to get over it, man. Category:Episodes Category:Wario Crap